A little birdie on my windowsill told me once everything happens for a reason, and that the great deity has a plan. He said it with a bird like smile and mumbled to himself worms had been scarce this year.

I must say, this seemed a bit odd to me, and I smiled at him and said I was sorry things weren't looking well for him. I told him I'm sure there will be a nice rain soon and he will have all the worms he can eat. Maybe he could keep his family fed for many weeks. He told me that was a pleasant thought, but because there were no worms for so long he had to borrow alot of worms from so many other birds he would have to pay them back on the next rain, he feared that there wouldn't be any worms left for himself or his family. He looked down at his his feet and looked very morose. I smiled and said, don't worry, god has a plan remember? He chuckled to himself and said you know, I bet your right and said his thanks and flew off to his home which wasn't to far from my window.

the next day I turned on the news, stocks were down, and they feared It would only get worse. they had also mentioned a nice rain that night. I called for my little birdie friend like I did most days to speak with him.

he flew right up and said hello, we exchanged pleasant words and then I told him about the rain. He was very happy about the news and said that he should prepare for the next rain. I told him to run along and that If he needed anything you just hop on by.

that night I laid in my room and listened to the storm. the wind howld and the thunder cried and occasinally the lightening filled my room with bright fire. I thought of my little birdie and how happy would be at the rain and I hoped there would be enough worms to pay the other birds, aswell as have some worms of his own to feed his family. The storm grew louder and stronger and I heard the radio saying the storm had grown terribly strong and they believed multiple tornados had been seen in the area. I thought nothing of this, because like so many other times, I thought my self invincible to all things escpecially a measly little tornado.

about an hour later, the earth began to rumble and my room began to shake. It wasn't to much longer before I saw the sky grow bloody red and green and the storm began to cry with a meniacal laughter and then suddenly fade away. the rain died down and a faint sprinkling continued on through the night. I laughed to myself thinking how I really was invinvible, nothing would ever hurt me, I had nothing to worry about.

the next morning I went to my window to call for my little friend, but he never came. this confused me because he always came to my window to greet me. I went outside to his little tree and saw the storm had ripped some of the branches right off the tree. I looked a little closer and there was his wife and children crying. I asked why there were so sad and where my little friend was.

the wife told me that last night her husband was so worried about the worms that he went out into the strom to try and find some worms, before all the other birds could get to them. But the storm grew so strong he was killed by a branch falling on him. She went on to say they were so close to getting caught up and now she didn't know what they would do. She made a half way smile and looked at me and said, It's ok, god has a plan, everything happens for a reason.

I stood there stunned and looked at her for a moment. how could they keep on smiling after all this had happened? I'd had so much happened to me over the years, and I could still feel its grip on me now and again always driving me to let go. I decided to help in there cause and found some worms to give the wife and went inside to sit and think for a while.

I came to my tiny little room and sat on the bed a cried a little to myself thinking of what had transpiried. why do we continually go down this road, this rat race, ever faithful that we are here for a reason, and that there is a plan. why do we have so much loss, and yet go on, waiting for our own turn to be caught up in the storm and loose the only thing that matters in our own tiny little tree. what happens to ones we leave behind? How do they go on without us? why do we make ourselves always a step behind, always trying to get by, just to make it another day. It doesn't make any sense to me. why do so many suffer when others think they're invincible. It would be so much easier to let go. but I guess it's ok, I mean god has a plan, but not for my little friend and his family.

1] Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?
no. I like mine better.
fuck you survey!

[02] Would you do meth if it was legalized?
ho hum. I'm pretty sure there is some part of me that likes being alive.


[03] Abortion: for or against it?
idk, thats a tuffy, I don't have a vagina. although Im gonna say depending on the situation, it might be warranted. but then again alot of people want kids who can't have them. so, I say start killing people who dont use protection under the age of 25.
nuff' said

[04] Do you think the world would fail with a female president?
no, we would prosper and flourish 3 weeks out of the month. that other week we would have to listen to so and so talking about her "feelings" and saying we don't care enough, and how this marriage "isn't working" fuck. Id rather eat a bowl of shit.
nuff' said

[05] Do you believe in the death penalty?
sure. Theyre are some fucks out there who will never stop loving 12 year old pole. and I know for goddamn sure im not spending 30,000 dollars in taxes a year on that mother fucker. how about this, you let the family kill him. unless its that black guy from the green mile. then your pissing god off. ouch.


[06] Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?
eh. I don't care either way. people are gonna smoke it reguardless. lazy bastards.


[07] Are you for or against premarital sex?
lol. don't make me laugh. are you fucking kidding me? do you know how many people get married before having sex? 5 people a year. they live in kentucky. and yes, they are related.


[08] Do you believe in God?
why not, sounds fun to me.


[09] Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?
once again, this doesn't really concearn me. I don't really see why not, I mean we're talking hot dogs and tacos here, who fucking cares. give em a tax break.


[11] A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?
ok, here is how we do it. if its rape, ask the parents if they want the responsibily of taking care of it, if they dont, then they do want they want with it. i.e. abortion or adoption. if it was consensual, have the baby, give it to the parents or adoption. kill the girl. fucking skank.


[12] Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?
underagers are gonna drink reguardless. I gotta say though, when i was 18 I joined the military, and i could go to war, but i couldn't drink. thats kinda fucked. so i say, leagally drink at 18, legal to drive at 21. that way you get all that bs out of your system. besides, buy a bike.


[13] Should the war in Iraq be called off?
I suppose, were not really seeing any profit from it, I say we stick to the original plan: kill everyone.


[14] Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?
absolutely. If thats what that person wants, why not.


[15] Do you believe in spanking your children?
hell yeah.
I got my ass beat all the time, now look at me!

[16] Would you burn an American flag for one million dollars?
hmmm....money is good. prison and being a huge cock is bad.


[17] Who do you think would make a better president? McCain or Obama?
ho hum. Im gonna go for, I have no idea. but I sure hope obama will surprise us.


[18] Do you think Obama will be killed?
difficult to say. If hes a good president, I certainly hope he isn't. I dont like that biden fellow.


[19] Should child predators be forced to wear signs identifying themselves?
how about........WE KILL THEM. fuck. if hes gonna do it again kill him. sweet jesus. LOGIC.


[20] Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
not really. I show my balls to anyone and everyone. I'm pretty sure I don't care about anything.
especially a bad ass quiz like this!

So, I just got back from MSGS in Minnesota, and ive had a very mind captivating 4 days. ive had about 7 or 8 hours of sleep collectivly, my brain and body are completly numb. Im not going to get into specifics as to what went on at con mostly cuz those thing are for me and me alone. but i would like to share my frustrations and feelings from those events.

one of my first identifiable feelings was the insane need to do something productive, to just change my pace and do somthing i love. i was surrounded by arrogant pseudo intellectual "contemporary" artist. which is another way to say a fucking jack off who thinks two tvs hooked up facing each other with a dude licking his own ass while making dying gazelle noises, some how constitues some remote talent. which for the record IT FUCKING DOESN'T. all that means is you have an affinity for panera and barnes and noble and like to talk about the industrial revolution as if you were actually there. So, guy, who ever you are, wherever you are, please, in the kindest way possible FUCK OFF. there are a lot of things i can appreciate, but that chia pet of an ass crack wiping against a video recorder somehow doesnt quite hit me the right way. in fact your kind of that obnoxious kid who asked to may dumb questions in grade scgool and got beat up a lot. but i digress, basically what passes as "art" today is pretty much an excuse to come up with some jack ass situation like a glass shattered on the ground and making it represent how stalin killed all of his own people by cutting off food and water supply and how hilter and disney both hated jews. its impractical, its nonsensical and its a poor excuse for self expression. its has nothing to do with talent but finding regular shit and turning it into something more because of your ever vast knowledge of the inner workings of society and history. so once again fuck off.

the point is that im tired of people becoming successful because they want to jump on the band wagon of the so called "revolution". I realized i want to persure somthing worth while and I intend to do it without starving a dog or being a complete incompitent floppy dick. so yeah thats the first one. I could go on, but you know, I will pretty much have a book by that point and i should just get it published. I will call it it. "Brian sees truth in life.hilarity ensues"

so I felt pretty tired most of my time at MCAD and honestly i wanted to go to relax and ended up working the whole time, which is ok, i just didnt anticipate going the way it did. I also drank to much and blacked out and Im just so fed up of this little funk im in i could just start killing things. but dont worry, im sure ill take a picture of my nuts, enlarge it, and put it on the front of walmart and call it "walmart, inches from the chode" that way i can go down in a super awesome artistic way. *cough* oh excuse me i just vomitied a little in my mouth.


So on my way home i was just thinking about how much I was going to miss my friends and more importantly being the hell out of iowa. but I really started to think about it, and im not sure its iowa, im not really sure what it is, it just seems to be a staleness in the air and its really is almost palpable. So I don't know what im gonna do, and i dont know when but i think its time for a change, a trip a year vacation, whatever, but i know i'm, going to do it, and Im gonna do it without making goddamn gazelle noises while licking my own ass.

on a litghter note, thanks for letting me stay up there, i had a great time. and I hope I can come see you guys real soon.